Greyson Chance - Hold On Til The Night ( Official Video )

My instant perk me up song this month...So young artist but very strong voice!! o_O

a LETTER ONE YEAR AGO

A LETTER FROM THE PAST: APRIL 24, 2011

Dear FutureMe,

I know you are happy right now. You have your own business, a wonderful career and a loving and handsome fiance. You have helped you parents and gave them so much joy and love. Please be a joy to others always and let go of the things that make you sad. Stay away from bad friends that let you down. Treat yourself today..Travel with your love ones and be grateful to GOD for everything. You deserve this because of all you work for. Look at you...very happy and will always be happy. No more regrets.

P.S. In case you haven't achieved anything that I have mention above...it's okay. I don't blame you. You should dust it off and try again(just like the song). Do it now..you are the captain of your life..It's never to late..be bold and dream big and high..I still love you and pray to GOD for guidance..mwaaahhhh

I cried after I finish reading this. I have been trying to make myself better than ever and learn from the mistakes that I have. I am really so sensitive...T_T I am strong but I cry easily. Basically, I can say I am happy right now minus the business, the wonderful career and loving and handsome fiance. Looking back one year ago, I have made choices that I don't totally regret but can make some part of this letter a reality. I just don't know if I will be happy if I choose to say "YES" than "NO". The funny thing is, I don't know why I am crying. Is it because of the wrong decisions? the pity for self? or maybe I just realized that there are something or someone that is not meant to be? I want to let it out and last time I cried was when I watched a sad movie online. I got carried away by the characters in the story. This time, it's different. I am in the story. I realize that my own movie is in black and white. So dull. My mind is confused and I don't even know what my heart is saying. Things are pretty confusing lately. There are signs and they scream in my face. I just don't know if they are just fooling my senses or they are for real and I should take them seriously.

Good thing PastMe is not so judgmental. She wants me to learn from everything and try again. I am patient but sometimes the waiting is like torture and it is not fun anymore. It's draining sometimes and I feel that at the end of the day, you still lack courage to face it because it makes you also weak. I really don't what is in store for us for the next few months. Whatever that is, I wish that PastMe will realize what she dreams to have one year ago.

CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED BLOG

I am a fickle minded person and sometimes my momentum is so high that, it ends up useless. I have made actually more than five blogs already but only maintaining two. The two blogs that I am maintaining are not even earning but have a few traffic every now and then. I am pretty crazy about blogging before to the point that I woke up early in the morning just to catch opportunities online. I am so obsessed with it. I want to feel that obsession again and get my blog up again.

I still have many ideas in mind like earn a few moolah then get a domain for it. I want to also make a like Julia/Julie food blog. I might also make a language blog or maybe a personal blog about teaching online. See? I have crazy ideas but I can't seem to make it work. Am I just burn out or I am just getting old? I hope none of the above. How to make crazy ideas into reality? I better get up and work my %$#! out!!

Ciao!!

THAT AWKWARD FEELING/MOMENT

I have been reading some tweets and even shout outs with the words "That awkward feeling...". Okay, I am going to share some of my awkward feelings. I might forget some of them but this are just some of the situations when I or maybe you feel that awkward feeling.

1. That awkward feeling when you meet the person who is actually your friend in Facebook or other SNS but you are not really close or acquainted to each other and you don't know if you will smile or greet him/her.(Note: You know his/her love life, daily food intake etc.)

2. That awkward moment when you saw your ex and there is no other place to escape but to pass by where he is.

3. That awkward feeling when you want to correct someone but he/she acts very confidently and thinks he/she is smart.

4. That awkward feeling when you want to say sorry but you know it's not your fault. The feeling is bothering you but saying sorry is just out of your plan.

5. That awkward moment when you receive a call in a quiet place and you try to lower your voice but it turns out to be louder than you expected.

More awkward feelings/moments soon...Ciao!!