It's been a year since my father died and yes, it seems like yesterday. Too fast and really heartbreaking~
I am living day by day always randomly thinking of the memories and letting myself feel the pain over and over again. I get by with help or laugh with friends and also random talks with my mother. Also, one cute fluffy handsome puppy has my affection since this year.
Walking up to him, cuddling him, training and baby talking him everyday. It makes everything else bearable. From work, to people, to debts and to loss-
I let my guard down, I was too happy and too trusting that everything seems okay.
I pour my heart out to this cute little pup that always makes our day and never thought about circumstances/sudden emergencies that might happen.
Two days ago he was too lazy to play and didn't eat or drink at all. My mother had to rush him to the vet for consultation but the vet said they can go home since my baby is still under observation. The following day, I had to go to the vet again to tell the vet that he has symptoms of diarrhea and vomiting. In panic but always trusting that GOD and Loki will make it through.
He was a fighter 'till the end. Never whimpered to pain, he tried his best to drink but still vomited. Walked around the house even though very weak and very tired.
We had to admit him but at 8am today, the vet sent a message that our baby Loki died.
I don't know what to do or feel, I felt guilt because I had to leave him at the vet. I felt angry because the vet had too many inconsistencies when I recalled our conversation. I felt sorry for Loki because we couldn't do anything. I felt that this is all too much.
Why now? Why is happiness short lived? He gave his all to comfort us during the loss of my father.
He was the source of funny and laughter in our house recently. Why? Why too short for such a perfect pup? I couldn't ask for any dog but only him-Loki. I hope that God will grant my wish and be like the movie "A Dog's Journey Home". Let Loki come back in another dog. Same personality, talent and cuteness.
I hope for another dog but not too soon. I know God will never give us something we can't handle but every day, I would ask this out of the blue to myself-WHY JULY?