SMALL TREATS

Lately, I have been depriving myself of many things. I can't watch telenovelas on television. I can't go out with friends on spontaneous late night Gimik. I can't eat a decent dinner or maybe eat a light dinner before going home to be ready on my classes. I can't talk to my mom at night or early in the morning about what's going on with me except during weekends. I can't read my books because I don't have enough time. I can't learn a new language because I am busy teaching other people how to learn English. I can't easily talk to friends or chat with them online because I am busy with my students. Don't get me wrong about my teaching. I love teaching. I have always been inclined to teaching. I don't know why teaching is always following me. I remember my late grandfather told my mother to let me take up a degree in education. Good thing my parents supported me in whatever course I am going to take up in college. I promised that I will never teach because I know teachers are deprived financially and sometimes emotionally.

But I am back as a teacher and every now and then I realized how badly I needed this kind of job. I so overwhelm by the kindness my students gave me. They are so adorable and they are very good too in the lesson. Again, as long as they need me..I will be there to teach them. Call me "raketera", "gahutera" or "pamugasay"...I really don't care. It has helped me a lot financially and I am having fun and meet very nice friends. I am contented and happy right now. Arigato Gozaimasu!!

Greyson Chance - Hold On Til The Night ( Official Video )

My instant perk me up song this month...So young artist but very strong voice!! o_O

a LETTER ONE YEAR AGO

A LETTER FROM THE PAST: APRIL 24, 2011

Dear FutureMe,

I know you are happy right now. You have your own business, a wonderful career and a loving and handsome fiance. You have helped you parents and gave them so much joy and love. Please be a joy to others always and let go of the things that make you sad. Stay away from bad friends that let you down. Treat yourself today..Travel with your love ones and be grateful to GOD for everything. You deserve this because of all you work for. Look at you...very happy and will always be happy. No more regrets.

P.S. In case you haven't achieved anything that I have mention above...it's okay. I don't blame you. You should dust it off and try again(just like the song). Do it now..you are the captain of your life..It's never to late..be bold and dream big and high..I still love you and pray to GOD for guidance..mwaaahhhh

I cried after I finish reading this. I have been trying to make myself better than ever and learn from the mistakes that I have. I am really so sensitive...T_T I am strong but I cry easily. Basically, I can say I am happy right now minus the business, the wonderful career and loving and handsome fiance. Looking back one year ago, I have made choices that I don't totally regret but can make some part of this letter a reality. I just don't know if I will be happy if I choose to say "YES" than "NO". The funny thing is, I don't know why I am crying. Is it because of the wrong decisions? the pity for self? or maybe I just realized that there are something or someone that is not meant to be? I want to let it out and last time I cried was when I watched a sad movie online. I got carried away by the characters in the story. This time, it's different. I am in the story. I realize that my own movie is in black and white. So dull. My mind is confused and I don't even know what my heart is saying. Things are pretty confusing lately. There are signs and they scream in my face. I just don't know if they are just fooling my senses or they are for real and I should take them seriously.

Good thing PastMe is not so judgmental. She wants me to learn from everything and try again. I am patient but sometimes the waiting is like torture and it is not fun anymore. It's draining sometimes and I feel that at the end of the day, you still lack courage to face it because it makes you also weak. I really don't what is in store for us for the next few months. Whatever that is, I wish that PastMe will realize what she dreams to have one year ago.

CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED BLOG

I am a fickle minded person and sometimes my momentum is so high that, it ends up useless. I have made actually more than five blogs already but only maintaining two. The two blogs that I am maintaining are not even earning but have a few traffic every now and then. I am pretty crazy about blogging before to the point that I woke up early in the morning just to catch opportunities online. I am so obsessed with it. I want to feel that obsession again and get my blog up again.

I still have many ideas in mind like earn a few moolah then get a domain for it. I want to also make a like Julia/Julie food blog. I might also make a language blog or maybe a personal blog about teaching online. See? I have crazy ideas but I can't seem to make it work. Am I just burn out or I am just getting old? I hope none of the above. How to make crazy ideas into reality? I better get up and work my %$#! out!!

Ciao!!

THAT AWKWARD FEELING/MOMENT

I have been reading some tweets and even shout outs with the words "That awkward feeling...". Okay, I am going to share some of my awkward feelings. I might forget some of them but this are just some of the situations when I or maybe you feel that awkward feeling.

1. That awkward feeling when you meet the person who is actually your friend in Facebook or other SNS but you are not really close or acquainted to each other and you don't know if you will smile or greet him/her.(Note: You know his/her love life, daily food intake etc.)

2. That awkward moment when you saw your ex and there is no other place to escape but to pass by where he is.

3. That awkward feeling when you want to correct someone but he/she acts very confidently and thinks he/she is smart.

4. That awkward feeling when you want to say sorry but you know it's not your fault. The feeling is bothering you but saying sorry is just out of your plan.

5. That awkward moment when you receive a call in a quiet place and you try to lower your voice but it turns out to be louder than you expected.

More awkward feelings/moments soon...Ciao!!

THE WALKING DEAD-ANOTHER ADDICTION!!

I am not really fond of zombie movies but I like the Resident Evil movie so much. Aside from that, nothing else. What so fun about zombie running around and even preying on human? That's gross and looking at humans helpless is worst than I could imagine.

But now, I am taking back my word on that because my addiction to American series lead me to this. Many friends of mine even talked about it on Facebook. I got so curious and downloaded the full Season 1 episodes in torrent. Wow..I couldn't stop watching it. I finish the whole season 1 in just one day. Okay, it's just six episodes.hehehe. It made me a little frustrated because the plot is so riveting and it finished sooner than I expected.

I have to get my hands on Season 2 soon. I am just so excited and I am practicing my scream now.hahaha. Well, if you like zombie movies then check this out. I will surely make you scream and you will be glued to your seats..Enjoy!

POINT IN TIME

There will come a time in our life that we meet someone that will blow our mind away...Like someone who is very bad in English in elementary but because of self study and practice, he can speak English very well now. (that's my boss in my online school!Cool!!) I am just your average English speaker but sometimes when you get to know someone who is so passionate about learning and speaking different languages, you ask yourself...what have I been doing for the past few years? I love learning new things but sometimes I need that extra kick to get going. There are many things to explore and I always tell my student that learning something new needs passion and motivation. I felt guilty every time I say that because one point in my life, I felt that I lack motivation and passion. I love what I am doing but I stopped doing it. I love clothes and I studied how to use the sewing machine last year. By the time I finished the sewing lessons, I know, I have to buy a sewing machine to practice what I learned. Now, I think it's almost a year already but no sewing machine. Huhuhu. Same thing with Korean language. I learned Korean three years ago but again-another epic fail! I never practiced or pursued my Korean language lessons.

You see, I don't easily give up but sometimes the motivation and passion is not cultivated very much. It's the same reason why I don't want to learn driving because I don't have car. I don't want to learn baking because I don't have an oven but I would love to learn how to drive and I love baking as much as eating. I bought baking books but never tried it before.*facepalm*

One day, I was asked by someone if I want to learn a new language-maybe French or German. I said I can't because both languages are difficult to learn. He laughed a little and then said that anything that you don't know is difficult. It will just stop you from learning and he thinks that learning should never stop. He even said that a good motivation in learning a new language is that I should always think that GOD can only understand German/French/Spanish/etc in heaven. I cannot enter heaven if I don't know GOD's language. I was shocked when he said that. It was yes, pretty nice motivation there but I think he uses that words to motivate his students. I began to question my motivation and passion that day.

Now, I feel like I shouldn't stop learning. Right now, using that motivating words and the passion of my boss in learning other language, I think I should start learning other things. This doesn't only apply to learning new language but I think this is the "kick" that I have been waiting to kick me in my butt.

JUST DANCE

My love for dancing also shows in my love for movies with dancing theme. I have seen almost all dancing movies like Dirty Dancing( with Patrick Swayze) , Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights, Step Up, Dance with Me, Take the Lead, Happy Feet, Innocents Steps(Korean movie) and many more. I watched Footloose a few days ago and I loved the movie so much. It's not about ballroom but it makes you want to stand up and dance. It's a feel good movie but I can't compare it to the older Footloose movie because I haven't watched it. It's a typical teenage movie but I still like Dance with Me. Okay, I like it more because of Richard Gere and Jennifer Lopez but Kelly Wormald(the lead actor) is very cool and he danced very well. I find guys who can dance very cool. I usually fall for guys who are musically inclined or who can dance and it doesn't hurt too if he is smart and funny. hahaha. Too much movies!!Now, back to reality.

I started my love for dancing when I was in high school and I started dancing dance sports or ballroom as it is commonly called. I can still remember our funny group, why funny? because only few boys in the school wants to join the group. The other boys thinks they will be called "gay" if they joined the group. Hahaha.

So the girls will take turns with the guys in dancing the ballroom and when there is school presentation, we have to do a line dance because we have no partners. Looks funny right but it's true and we have to deal with the "ego" of our guys. I like it so much that if I want to dance again. It doesn't only give me confidence but it also helps in my physical activity. I tend to gain weight if I don't move too much. Dancing keeps my body stable and it also makes you confident. Oh, I miss dancing. I wish I can go back soon.

DIANGO, THE FAMOUS DOG

This dog is very famous in our household and also in Japan. My boss is always looking for it especially if the dog is very quiet.hahaha.Totally strange isn't it? I supposed he wants some quiet atmosphere when I teach him but he said otherwise and he misses the sound of the dog. I took a picture of it to let my boss know what it looks like. Ciao!

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CHANGE IS INEVITABLE

Okay,i am not very old not to accept change and not so young enough too to be so aggressive in my work. I know sometimes great challenges comes with great power. I don't what to look that I am already hard headed but sometimes there are challenges that are worth it. I don't what to go into the details. This might sound ideal and for the betterment of the organization,but it's utterly absurd to let someone go through drastic changes. I don't know how to face this challenge and one thing is sure, I not a coward but I feel that the challenge is not enough for the rewards it will reap. Now that I am already contemplating what to do with my life, I think my plans will be early than usual. Carpe Diem! Seize the day!

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MY JOYS OF TEACHING

I have been teaching for almost four months now. I have been asked many times why I am always diligent,why I am always available. Okay, let me get this straight to the point..I need extra income for myself and my loved ones. Another reason is I really love teaching. I still remember my first teaching stint( i am not paid) but the happiness the kids bring in the class keeps me active for weeks and even months..I taught catechism and the kids were adorable. My second teaching experience was in the university. It was mainly volunteer work but I taught younger students on school policies and we sometimes do immersion work outside the school. It was so much fun and since then, I developed my passion for teaching. Now, if you are still wondering why I don't bored and tired doing this..mainly it's passion,happiness,fulfillment and the compensation of course. I might share my happy experience with my students, one of this days. For now, sensei signing off! Ciao!

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SUMMER IS HERE!!

A few days from now, it will be summer season. Just in time for that, I decided to cut my hair a little shorter because my long hair annoys me everyday. The frustrations and burdens disappeared the moment I cut my hair short. No, it has nothing to about being brokenhearted. I just felt a need a breather on things and it feels good that you have something new about yourself. I love summer because every time I hear the word it reminds me of blue sky, crystal clear beach, happy friends, laughter and some tan. I must admit I am not very good in keeping friends because I fail in the so called-communication. Whatever my shortcomings I just hope they will forgive for not so visible when the time they needed me.

Tonight, I felt that one of my dear friend treats me like a stranger. I don't know if it is just a simple "online tweet" misunderstanding tonight but I reached out to her. She tweeted she wants a movie buddy and I replied back to her saying "Nood tau!!when ka available?"(In English, let's watch!!!..when are you available"). She didn't replied but tweeted after a few minutes the words-"That's it. I think it's enough na." Hmmm...I wonder what she meant. I am not a psychic but I am not pathetic to feel that she doesn't want to see me. For the record since I cannot tweet my rants in Twitter and shout outs in Facebook, might as well be frank here. I don't know what your up to but it's not me you are angry at in the first place and don't make it look like I am against you and I am for Heloise. I am still trying to understand what happened between the two of you and as long as I don't hear your side-I am not favoring anyone.

You make feel sad again. Just when I thought the frustrations were gone and were left lying on the salon's floor. As of this moment, I still check my Twitter feed for your reply. Hope we can patch things up and I always treasure your friendship.

FRINGE SERIES

FRINGE makes my days a little lighter when I feel I little blah. It's not a funny and feel good series by the way. It is a little crazy series with a little paranormal mixed with science in between. Sometimes it can be gross or morbid as you would call it. I am big fan of X-Files when I was in high school, so that would probably explain why I like this series. This was recommended to me by my co-worker, Eric and since then, I got hooked. I might have missed a lot of local TV shows lately but this series keeps my mind active and sometimes makes you jump off your seat.

The characters are very good. I like Olivia Dunham' s character (the girl agent) because she is fearless and very curious. Walter Bishop (the Harvard professor) is also very eager to know what happened and he is a genius. He makes the series funny and very emotional too sometimes. Lastly, Peter Bishop (IT genius and son of Walter Bishop) is played by Joshua Jackson-who by the way is Spacey in Dawson's Creek. He is my crush in Dawson's Creek way back in high school and I was so thrilled to know that he played Peter Bishop.(Well, enough said.) Okay, he is very observant and also a genius like his dad. He is very cooperative and very helpful to Olivia. I am still in Season 2 but many strange cases have already surfaced and sometimes, it makes you feel like you are also a special agent. I would love to be a special agent in my next life.Hahahaha. I just hoped that the series will continue is consistency on the truth and they will open new issues to make the viewers more curious about the stories behind the characters.

I am not really addicted to this series but I have already downloaded the complete Season 2 and I think I will download Season 3 in the next few days. Not so much of an addict eh?? Ciao pips!! Got to solve some fringe case first.

ERASE AND REWIND

Sometimes my gut feel gets in the way of so many things. Sometimes it's always correct. It doesn't only gets in the way of life decisions but also love.hahaha.yes,been there done that..The bad thing about gut feel is that it makes you restless. You want to know the truth and discover things. Sometimes you discover nice things but most of the time, you discover shocking and unusual things. I hate it when my mind is pushing and tempting me to search for it.*arrrgh,now my head is aching*hahaha. I guess i should stop it so that I will not be hurt of what i will discover. Btw, i'm blogging in blogger-droid app in my phone so pardon my typing and hope this will look okay in my blog..I still have errands to do for the February 14 wedding. Ciao pips!

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Katy Perry - "Not Like the Movies" - Official Lyric Video

One of my favorite songs of Katy Perry. Just in time for Valentine's day. Since I don't have someone to be mushy with, might as well drown with mushy songs.Hahahaha..This is torture and idk. Now I am thinking of singing this in a karaoke and practice more.Yay!!Emo to the nth level.Whatever!Enjoy this guys...Ciao!

RUNNING AROUND

I am deeply bothered by the thoughts running around my mind and I feel that sooner or later, it will affect me in a negative way. I am trying to keep my sanity and keep my head as steady as possible. It's running around my head for many days and sometimes I feel that my brain is empty and I lack concentration. What to do? I really don't know. I am pretty messed up and I don't want going around showing people how messy I am. Good thing, good friends keep me grounded. Please don't go away guys!!I will probably become a terrible person if I don't have you in this situation. My emo mode has finally kick and I just want to say how grateful I am for meeting many new friends and people in my life. ^_^

Madonna ~ Halftime Super Bowl XLVI (dolby surround)

I have to say..noone can replace Madonna. She's still stunning and ageless. She rocks!! This Super Bowl Halftime is one of the highlights of the game. Many people have been waiting for her to perform in a big event and just as she release her new single, she is making people all over the world dance to her music again. She very energetic and My!! her costumes are stunning. When I saw the Greek/Roman soldier inspired dancers...it brings back to mind the movie, Immortals. Whewwww!!!This is awesome...Need I say more?

I VOW

I vow this month to take care of my skin and get enough sleep. I lack sleep because I have a late class every night. I enjoy it so much but it's taking its toll on my skin. My eyes look deep and dark, and if I put a little eyeliner and it gets smudge-I would look like a raccoon. Hahaha..A sleepy raccoon.

Anyway, I think my Pond'd morning cream doesn't work well anymore and my Maybelline loose powder makes my skin looks dry. I will try the Human Nature night collagen cream to see if my skin will be better and I bought a Human Nature toner for oily skin to see if it will eliminate oil in my oily skin. (I have some breakouts lately and St. Ive's can't even stop it!haist) I just hope my skin will be back to it's normal self. How can I look presentable if my skin looks so dull? I've tried many products and I hope this new cream and toner will give me remarkable result so that my search will be over. Waaahhh...Now, I have to sleep or else I will yawn the whole morning in the office. Ciao!!!

TOTORO

I am not really sure about this but this cartoon character lights up my mood every time I see it. My boss introduced me to Totoro. He said that all the kids in Japan knows Totoro, so I should also be familiar with him. He's cute and only kids can see him. I wonder what powers does he have? I just wish I could be a child again..No problems and no worries. You can play all day and just sleep when you are tired. =)

YOU HAD ME

I have known you for like more than three months now. Your family's been good to me and I can't even believe that it is easy to deal with people like you. I have been very timid before and admittedly, I have some negative thoughts about your kind. I just to let you know(in case you read this blog!) that I have been so happy for the past months that I have talked to you and your family. Your sister and mother are very kind. I feel so happy every time I finish talking to them and they say nice things to me. This is the most wonderful part of being a teacher and I will always treasure this all my life. My greatest dream now is to go to your country and meet your sister and your mother. I just hope it will come true.

You told me the other night that I might ran away. I want to tell you that very minute that I will not because it just very hard to let go now. Sometimes if you become very comfortable, it becomes part of your system. I want to say to you that after three months of talking, I still get jitters every time you booked my class and every time we talk. hahahaha..Crazy right? Okay, call me crazy but it's just probably me. I guess you don't feel that way. I just liked what you said today-You ran from the station to your house just to get to my class...awwww!!You had me at that situation. Just tell me to stay and I will stay but if you get tired of me, just tell it to me gently. For now, I'll do my best to teach you and your family and hope you'll keep me in your heart forever!!Ayasuminasai KM san....

SINGAPORE FOOD ADVENTURE

When I visited Singapore last November 2011, I had the chance to explore my adventurous taste buds. I am not a picky eater and I think a travel will not be complete without food trip. I decided to try different kinds of food during my trip.

On my first day, I was accompanied by my friends, Melody and Cynthia to try their favorite fried prawn noodles. I didn't hesitate at all because they worked in Singapore for almost two years and I believe their choice of food is great. We went to Food Republic at Wisma Atria. It is located at the topmost level of the mall. When we arrived there, the place was already full with yuppies and some locals who were very hungry just like us.

Melody ordered Hookien Mee(Fried Prawn Noodle) in one of the stalls in Food Republic. I am a bit dismayed when I learned that we will only eat noodles and no rice. No rice? I felt that I will never be satisfied with the lunch I am going to eat.

PRICE OF HOOKIEN MEE(FRIED PRAWN NODDLES)

HOOKIEN MEE(FRIED PRAWN NOODLES)-Small serving

Much to my surprise, I liked it so much. I didn't even looked for my favorite rice while eating it. I can even imagine the flavor of the noodle while I am writing this. The shrimps are juicy and very fresh. The noodles are cooked very well and very tender. It is best to eat it with chili paste to neutralize the oily taste.

I got hooked on it because the following day during lunch time, I went back to Food Republic to eat Hookien Mee(again!!)hehehe. This time, I ordered a small serving. I cannot even finish it but I know I need some energy to survive Singapore so, I finished it all up.hehehe...*burp!*

THE BAK KUT TEH STORE FACADE

On my second night in Singapore, Cynthia mentioned that I should try the Bak Kut Teh near my backpacker's inn. The restaurant looks old but Cynthia swears that their Bak Kut Teh tastes so good. I am not really quite impressed with the name though but knowing Cynthia, I think she is telling the truth.hehehehe.*peace Cynth!* So, I decided to roam around Singapore and then starved myself so that I can relish the famous Bak Kut Teh.

INSIDE THE STORE

The place looks like a movie set from an old Chinese movie but many locals came to eat dinner. (TIP: You should go to the restaurant early because the restaurant gets packed with locals and yuppies during dinner time.) I seated myself in a comfortable spot and slowly many people came inside the restaurant. Just when I finished my order, the restaurant is already full and some people are waiting outside. A few minutes later, the Bak Kut Teh, a bowl of rice and ice lemon tea came. Okay, see that little black stick beside the rice? It's a wet tissue. Hahahaha funny because I thought it was free but when I saw my bill it was sold separately. Waaaahhh...No wonder my bill reached SGD 8.80.

Okay, now let me describe the food. It's somewhat near our "ribs sabaw" in the Philippines but it taste very unique. It's like a little spicy and not too salty with a little sweetness. I like it so much and the meat was so tender that you can actually peel it out of the bone. I even underestimated the food thinking I won't finish it but I guess I was so hungry, I finish the meal with a little soup left. (FYI: They will refill the soup in your bowl.)

My stomach was so happy that night and even though I went out of my budget(My budget per meal in Singapore is SGD5.00), I wasn't disappointed. I definitely recommend this meal. I also learned they have lots of branches in Singapore. Just mention Bak Kut Teh and surely uncle and auntie will help you around.

THE PRICIEST MEAL I HAD IN SINGAPORE-BAK KUT TEH ^_^

FOOD REPUBLIC-VIVO CITY

My next stop the following day(my last night in Singapore) is Vivo City. It is the drop off point for Sentosa Island and Universal Studios. I always go out sightseeing in the afternoon to avoid the crowd in the train station and it is cooler in the afternoon. I checked out Vivo City and saw many branded shops in the mall. Again, I walked around the mall and I want to feel tired so that I can indulge after. I was delighted to see that Food Republic has a branch in Vivo City. I didn't waste my time and went around the place to see what I can eat.

KOREAN FOOD STALL-FOOD REPUBLIC, VIVO CITY

Wow, they have very good food selections inside compared to the one in Wisma Atria. They have Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, Thai, Japanese and some Western food. I choose to eat Korean that day because I have been a fan of anything Korean since Autumn in my Heart days. hahahaha. I stopped by this Korean stall and a Filipina girl was serving the customers. Must be my lucky day, I said to myself. I decided to order Korean mixed rice. I ordered it out of curiosity and of course, I always see it in Korean movies. ^_^

Now, I asked the Filipina girl to at least add a little rice to my order (Hahaha, my Filipino appetite gave in and I felt hungry that time too!) and she said YES. Yehey!! Unfortunately, her companion, gave me the different bowl of Korean mixed rice. She protested but I said it's all right. Epic fail! It has kimchi and pickled bean sprouts side dishes and a little soup. To eat the Korean mix rice, you should mix it all so that the flavors of the food will come out. You can put a little chili paste if you want it a little hot.

Now, it's time to indulge in Korean mix rice and my gosh, it taste so good. I still crave for it until now but too bad-it's in Singapore. Cham madineyo as the Koreans would it. The rice is not very sticky though and I didn't use chopsticks. It is delicious and the serving of the rice is just enough to make you very full after eating.(Good thing, they gave me the wrong bowl because I could have end up with a painful stomach due to excessive rice intake.) Bwahahaha.

My food adventure in my trip to Singapore was very memorable. The bad side is, I like all the food I ate that it would probably take another 48 years to eat that meal again. Hahahaha. Singapore is just a plane away but it needs some ample budget and planning to go there again. I'll never forget my first out of the country food adventure. 'Till my next food adventure pips!!Ciao!!

BOOK ADDICTION

I know this book addiction of mine should come to an end soon. I mean, not literally end it but my addiction for paper bound, hard bound and whatever physical books I have in hand. E-books are the IN thing now and sooner or later, I will probably have my own tablet(char!) to browse or read e-books online. Arrrgggh, I am just not so good at reading e-books or just my excuse to keep my very dear books with me. I have a copy of the Twilight series e-book and I think it's been more than a year with me already. The funny thing is, I haven't even finish the Twilight part yet.hahahaha. So tamad!! I just can't let go of the feeling of bringing a thick book with you or reading a very cute book in a cafe or whatever place comfortable. I feel so nerdy or probably smart whenever I carry a book in my hand. Feeling!!

So far, I have ten books from Booksale and unfortunately, I have read only three of them. Okay, I am a hoarder but I have to defend myself. I am just a bookworm who fortunately, saw some books that are priced so cheap that you can't resist them. Okay, take for example the book titled Michelle(Michelle Obama). I bought it for Php45 only. Now, who would resist that??

Anyway, to make this book addiction of mine stop. I guess, I should stop my sudden urge to go to Booksale. I have to read the books and finish it before I buy a new one. Arrrrggghhh. Now, that's difficult. I just hope I'll have the willpower..I'll just keep you posted guys on the books I already read. Ciao!!!